


Text Fics

by ArtemisDiana



Category: Doctor Who, Harry Potter - Fandom, Rise of the Guardians (2012), Star Trek, Supernatural, The Avengers (2012), The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-15
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 04:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 27
Words: 5,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/593267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtemisDiana/pseuds/ArtemisDiana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a collection of mini fics that I texted to other people for feels. Some SPN, some Doctor Who, some Avengers. Mostly Angst. Crossposted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sam and Dean Angst

     Sometimes he has to wonder if John would have ever survived without Dean, or if he would have just crawled into a bottle and never left. It wears Dean down, watching over the both of them, so he does his best to behave for his brother, to cause as little trouble as possible so he might make things just a little easier. Uncle Bobby and Pastor Jim help sometimes, when he can scrounge up enough change to use the motel payphone, when it’s been three weeks since they’ve heard from John and Dean hasn’t eaten for four days. In the end though? It’s his job to look after his big brother. He just wishes he could grow up a little faster.


	2. Jess Angst

     She lies awake some nights, listening to his deep breathing and trying to match it so that she can fall asleep as well. She doesn’t want to be awake when he starts dreaming, starts having conversations with someone named ‘Dean’. He always apologizes, always begs for forgiveness, always wakes up in tears. She can’t decide if those nights are better or worse then the nights he calls her ‘Dean’ when they’re having sex. She just wanted to know who this man was, when she could tell that he was obviously important, but Sam never talked about his past, no matter how many times she asked. When she woke up one night to find ‘Dean’ in her kitchen, and Sam calling him brother, she didn’t know whether to laugh in relief for finally knowing who he was or cry, because there was no way she could compete.


	3. More Sam Angst

     As much as he loves Jess’ parents, and he really does (as they’re everything John never was and Dean could never be), their house still made him uncomfortable. The old Victorian was stately and solid in a way the Impala hadn’t been, a looming, creaking mass that had a presence all its own, and he had to steel himself every time they went to visit. He knew Jess would want a house someday, one big enough for any future children, but thinking about it nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack. A house for a Winchester? Not likely.


	4. Sam at Stanford Angst

     Using public transit is one of the things he gets used to when he moves to Stanford, as much as he hates all the sitting around and waiting, because until he gets settled with a halfway decent job, he can’t afford a car of his own. He tries not to think about how the Impala was home, about how much leaving Dean behind still gives him panic attacks even four years later. It’s something he’s managed to keep hidden from Jess, and while he knows that it’s one of the things he’ll have to tell her eventually, he wants to put it off for as long as possible. He tries to separate himself from everything he used to know, but he has a sinking feeling that nothing will ever be enough.


	5. Dean/Cas Angst

     Sometimes loving Cas is like drowning, like walking into that damn reservoir and tilting his head back and letting the water wash everything away. He’s what ruined Cas the first time around, made him too human, kept him from going back to heaven. Hell, he ruined everything and everyone he ever touched. Killed Jess by going after Sam, killed Dad by not being strong enough to pull himself out of the coma. No wonder Cas hadn’t come to him until it was too late, he’d only made it worse. Now, all he had was a musty trenchcoat, and dreams that wouldn’t leave him alone.


	6. Sam Angst

     It’s too easy to fall back into the familiar routine, gun in hand with Dean at his back, hunting down something that goes bump in the night, and he’s furious that it is this easy for him. The last four years should have at least dulled his responses, slowed him down a fraction, but it’s as if he never stopped. As if the last four years didn’t matter at all, and he really was born to hunt just like John said. He scowled darkly, waving away Dean’s questioning glance. He was going home, back to Stanford, Jess, and his future, that’s all there is to it. He won’t let let the Impala feel like home, feel like sanctuary, definitely won’t let Dean settle next to him, warm and bright and pleased. This isn’t what he wants, it isn’t, and maybe in time he’ll believe it.


	7. Dean/Cas Angst!Smut

      They fight better this way, biting kisses and dragging nails, slick heat and soft groans. Neither of them are any good with words, with expressing emotions, and this is what works best for them. They don’t need words here, they don’t misunderstand each other when they’re so close that they’re sharing breath. They can read each other’s eyes, see to their soul, to the truth of all things, and they speak that way, scarred heart to shattered one. They’ve drawn blood more then once, after a hunt gone wrong, or one of them’s been particularly stupid that day, but in the fresh light of morning, when tempers have cooled, and they’re worn through, Cas will gently heal them both, and they can begin again.


	8. Sam Fluff

     Sam giggles and squirms under Dean’s roving hands, his big brother knowing exactly where he was most ticklish and making sure he hit every spot. He tried to roll away, laughing delightedly as Dean pulled him back into his arms. They haven’t had much of a chance to play lately, not with the way John’s been coming down on Dean the last few weeks, but Uncle Bobby had called last night and here they were! Sam really hoped they’d be here long enough for his birthday, if John was still gone, then Dean and Bobby would be able to celebrate with him. Dean pulled him closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, and Sam snuggled into his chest. The sun was warm against his back, and he didn’t think Dean would mind if he just… Fell… Asleep…


	9. Dean/Sam Soul Crushing Angst

     Sometimes I think Dad pushed you out because of me. Not because you didn’t want to be a hunter, and got accepted into Stanford. Or because you were too damn stubborn to listen to him anymore. No, it was all my fault. I thought I hid it well enough, trying to never even think about it around other people. It wasn’t enough, I guess. There must have been some hint, some clue in the way I acted around you that gave it away.

     You always wondered why I couldn’t ever settle down with a girl. Wouldn’t you laugh if you knew that you were the reason? That I never had a steady relationship because I was in love with my little brother?

     I know Cas knows, and I’m pretty sure that Bobby does too. Nothing they can do about it, of course, but you’d know that. Must be why they’re looking at me like this, eyes full of pity, like they think I’m going to jump into that pit after you.

     I want to. Oh God I want to. But I can’t leave Bobby on his own, not after just losing Ellen and Jo. I’m sure Cas’ll go back to Heaven, and then Bobby’d be alone. I wish I could have told you. Said it out loud to someone besides myself. Guess that’ll never happen now, so I just want to tell you here, admit it to myself even if I never say it again. I love you, Sam. I know you want me to go back to Lisa, but right now I’d think I’d hate her for not being you. It wouldn’t be fair to her. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, Sam, but maybe I’ll see you in hell. There’s no way Heaven will ever take me, not after everything that’s happened. Goodbye, Sam. I’ll see you when the hunting catches up to me.


	10. Dean/Cas, Sam, Mary in Heaven

     ‘I haven’t seen you here before, sweetheart. Are you here to see the boys?’

     Mary smiled at the disheveled man in front of her, sharp blue eyes piercing through her, searing her to her core. This was a man who would protect his own with everything he had, even at the cost of his own life, and she could see that he’d sacrificed much for his people.

     ‘Your sons have earned their rest, Mary Winchester. I have only come to bring them home.’

     ‘Cas…’

     ‘Mom, this is Castiel. He’s an Angel, uh… Dean’s guardian angel or something.’

     Mary looked at them, dirt and mud ground into their skin, blood still staining their clothes. What on earth had happened to them?

     ‘I am only the Angel of Thursdays, Mary Winchester, though Dean and I do share a profound bond.’

     This was the angel looking after Dean? She took in the way Dean stepped up to his side, his strength bolstering that of the angel’s and guarding his back at the same time. What had they been through that had created such a bond, so strong as to be extensions of the other?

     ‘I always told Dean that Angels were watching over him. I’m glad that it was you, Castiel, though I’m sure it hasn’t been an easy road.’

     There’s a choking sound from beside her, and she turns to stare at Sam as Dean hurries to hide damp eyes.


	11. Eleven Angst

     “Doctor, if you can see me, I want you to know that I’m alright. I know things have probably been hard for you, especially after having to say goodbye to everyone.”

     The Doctor is shaking as he stands, fists clenched against his sides as he stares at the woman who had appeared in front of them. She’s a golden apparition, wreathed in brilliant light, and Rory can feel some lonely part of himself crack at the expression on the Doctor’s face. It’s hurt and haunted, left desperate and begging, and this woman is everything that the Doctor has been running from, been trying to escape.

     Rory knows that Amy won’t understand, not really, but she’s never loved someone for so long and so deeply that you lose yourself, that you are no longer your own but theirs. Amy loves him, yes, but it’s not… She’s still Amy, even without him. Rory’s not so sure that the reverse would hold true if he lost her, and he knows that this woman is forever beyond the Doctor’s reach.

     “Are you happy?”

     The Doctor is a hair’s breadth from sobbing as he forces out the words, one by one, and Rory can tell that he’s about to shatter into pieces. He’s not sure if they’ll be able to put him back together

     “We’re alright, me and him. Expecting, now.”

     Rory’s almost certain he hates her for that, as the Doctor begins to cry, and he pushes Amy into a seat before making his way over to the broken man before them.

     “Goodbye, love.”

     Rory pulls the Doctor close as she vanishes into the golden light, holding him as he sobs into Rory’s shoulder. Amy creeps out of the room, and he’s grateful. This isn’t something she should see.


	12. Steve/Tony Angst

     They'd been expecting the diagnosis for a while, though that didn't make things any easier for them to bear. Tony had started getting migraines last year, strong ones that would take him out of commision for days at a time, and when Steve had taken him to the hospital, it had only been to hear bad news. The doctors had found a brain tumor, an innoperable one, and they weren't sure that Tony had much time left. The two of them had gone home in uneasy silence, minds reeling as they tried to come to terms with the day's revelation.

     Pepper had paled to milky white when Steve had quietly taken her aside to let her know the results, and he had just as quietly left her to Natasha's comfort.

     He and Tony had spent the next few weeks tying up loose ends, making sure that Pepper wouldn't have any trouble keeping the company, and then they had retired to the Tower to wait.

     Tony had spent what time he could in the lab, when he could drag himself up from the bed, and Steve filled sketchbook after sketchbook, trying to capture everything that he could, trying to memorize, to immortalize every last inch of Tony the only way that he knew how.

     Tony was working feverishly on a new project, one that he wouldn't sit down and explain to Steve, and Jarvis had been forbidden to divulge any information either. Steve knew that it was a last ditch effort, one that Tony wasn't sure would work, and so he didn't press, for now. He'd give Tony another week before he started asking again, as Extremis wasn't exactly a project name that he tok comfort in.


	13. Jack/Jamie Smut

     Heat is crawling up his spine, chasing the icy trails that Jack's finegrs are leaving as they drag over his skin. He only knows a little of what's happening with his body, only vaugely familiar with the reactions that he's having to what Jack is doing, and he shudders as a frigid mouth kisses down his neck and chest. His lungs are bellowing, breath caught in his chest as he loses himself in the endless depths of Jack's eyes, in the almost violent rush coursing through his veins with every beat of his heart, and he bites down on a sharp cry as his mind floods with sheet lightning and he is consumed by endless light.

     When he comes back to himself, he's cradled against Jack's chest, hands soothing over his skin, and Jack groans softly as Jamie kisses him. He's still hard against Jamie's hip, and he can feel Jack rocking slightly, cock dragging through his mess. He shudders, grinding down even as he softens, and Jack keens, hips arching as his fists clutch desperately at the sheets. He's beautiful like this, eyes clenched shut, teeth gritted against the overwhelming rush, a sheen of slowly melting frost gleaming over his skin in the moonlight. His cheeks are flushed deep blue, and his eyes flutter open as Jamie gives him one last slow, sticky grind, before Jack shatters to pieces beneath him.


	14. More Steve/Tony Angst

     'Hey, Rogers, I need you to stay awake, okay? No sleeping until your body's replaced at least some of the blood that you just lost being an idiot.'

     There was a wet cough beneath him as he tightened the last of the makeshift bandages, and he chose to take it as agreement. He tried to ignore that his own hands were shaking as he sat back on his heels, whishing he had something, anything, to help the other man. A frission of fear crept down his back as he caught sight of mangled hands, and he chewed his lip near to bloody before reaching out for one.

     'Sorry, Cap, I don't think they'll set themselves, and having to rebreak them will be worse, trust me.'

     He was glad that it was just his fingers that seemed to be broken so badly, as he wasn't sure that he was strong enough to set one of his arms or legs. With swift, calculated pulls, trying to shove down the nausea as the bones crunched and ground together, he began to reset them.


	15. Fili and Kili - First Bow

     Fili's been saving up for years now, every copper and piece of silver that he can get his hands on, every rough garnet that he can pan out of the headwaters of their river, trading every free moment that he has to learn under the local Master Carver. All for this, all for Kili.

     He doesn't want to just buy any old bow for him, something that Fili hasn't held in his hands and tested the wait and draw for and known every inch of. He wants something that he knows will keep his brother safe when he can't, something that will help him survive in case he ends up alone on the journey that he knows is coming. He wants something of himself that Kili can keep with him at all times.


	16. Fili's Hands - Fluff

     Fili's hands have always fascinated Kili, even when they were younger, and he has spent countless hours tracing every line and scar and callus, listening to Fili's rumbling voice, until he felt that he must know every story behind them almost as well as his brother.

     On rare occasion, Fili would return the favor, the soft tracing of fingertips over his skin lulling Kili towards a comfortable doze, snugged in against his brother's chest as Fili's other hand strokes over his back.

     For all that he's the taller one, now, he's immensely grateful that they still fit together like this.


	17. Thorin Angst

     He doesn't know quite what to do with them, these boys almost grown, who've never seen the bloody aftermath of a full scale battle, who've never fought and killed anything so merciless as an orc. They're his sister's sons, as precious as his own children, heirs to his throne under the mountain, and he doesn't know if he can keep them safe, can keep his promise to their mother to bring them back home.

     It aches, deep within him, stronger then anything else he's ever felt, or probably ever will feel, and the fear that he'll lose them is always present, a creeping horrer in the back of his mind.


	18. Kili Angst

     The frigid cold is what wakes him in the early hours of the morning, bone-sharp daggers biting into the back of his throat until he chokes, and it's long, endless moments until he can draw breath again without trying to wake the entire mountain. When his head clears, and he's scrubbed the resulting dampness from his cheeks, Fili's hand is stroking along his back, and there are glinting eyes from across the banked fire, slowly blinking shut as he calms.

     Thorin's soft growl shivers through his skin as his uncle kneels to speak to Fili, though he can't quite make out the words with the way that he's falling back into an exhausted sleep, and he allows the comfort of their presence to sooth his dreams.


	19. Fili/Kili

     Their story is written in stolen kisses, in quiet moments where they can lean against each other and speak silently with their hearts. Dwarves love once, and only once, pining away if their love is not returned. They’re not quite sure what to make of  falling in love with each other, perhaps it was circumstance, perhaps it was fate, and they may never know the answer.


	20. Heartbeats

     It’s become custom for him to bed down between them at night, arms crossing over his side as they press in close with blankets and furs wrapped tight around them. He falls asleep to the slow drumbeat of Fili’s heart, and an answering beat is pressed against his back as Kili curls over him, breath lightly stirring his curls.

     It started out as a way to keep warm, the chill of the night air sinking into his bones in a way he wasn’t used to, until he woke himself up with his teeth chattering in the dark hours of the morning. The third night the brothers had found him curled up next to the small fire they kept burning through the night, an understanding had bloomed across their faces. Bilbo wasn’t used to these adventures after all, had always had a hearth before him and home around him, and he was still soft, though he was toughening up quicker then they had expected.

     The next night, after he’d laid out his bedroll and had crawled in, they’d quietly laid theirs out on either side of him, grinning as he frowned up at them in confusion. Before he could protest, and possibly wake any of the rest of the company, they’d pulled him in close, Fili’s soft voice hushing him. He stilled after a moment, realizing that they were warming the blankets far faster than his body heat ever could alone. Maybe it was for the better to let them do as they wished, then.


	21. As The Rush Comes

'Traveling somewhere, could be anywhere'

-

     They take him under their wing, the two of them, showing him little things to make the trip easier, like how to use the stars to navigate, and which plants are edible. Their uncle looks on with a quiet smile, occasionally interjecting a pointer of his own, but he’s content to let them teach the hobbit all they know.

     Bilbo’s not sure what to make of Fili and Kili’s sudden attention, overwhelmed with what he was now receiving. He’s not about to waste the opportunity, though, taking every advantage he can to make himself more useful. He doesn’t want to be holding them back, so he puts all the effort he has into learning what the brothers are teaching him.

     He’s taking to this traveling thing a little too easily, he thinks, once the initial shock is over with. Before he knows it, he’s outfitted in a spare pair of cut-down trousers, and the first rabbit he manages to trap for dinner lines the collar of his coat. He learns how to skin anything and everything, how to roast meat in a high wind, how to smoke it so that it’ll keep for on the ride. He discovered that if he’s tired enough, he can sleep anywhere, even sitting up on his pony, and he’s been woken more then once by the pony shaking him off as Kili or Fili unties the packs.

     He’s not sure he’ll be able to go back to Bag End after this, to just sit on his porch with a pipe, smoking the day away, no more adventures to be had. Maybe… Maybe he’ll stay in Erebor, for some time, at least.


	22. While You're Here In My Arms

'Let's make the most of the night, like we're gonna die young'

   The rest of the company lets them have time to themselves when they could, willfully ignorant of what the brothers where up to just over the next hill, or behind that stand of trees. There’s a quiet desperation to what they’re doing, knowing that in this journey, nothing is assured. They could lose each other at any moment, to an orc arrow, or another troll with no Bilbo to rescue them, and they can’t seem to get enough of each other to reassure themselves.

-

    ‘Kili, give me your hand…’

    His brother’s arm flopped weakly at him, sinking back into the dirt as Fili struggled to crawl the rest of the way over to him. Thorin had been carried from the field already, hopefully to safety, and now Fili could pull his brother close. He was aware enough to know that there would be no saving for either of them, but they were dwarves, and they had fallen in battle, and so their deaths would be honorable. He had only a passing regret that they would not live long enough to see their uncle King Under The Mountain, but he took comfort in knowing that Thorin would be.

     ’F-Fili…’

     ’I’m here, Kili. I’m right here with you.’

     He took his brother’s hand in his own, pulling him as close as he could despite the arrows, and kissed his temple chastely as Kili shivered.

     ’It’s dark, Fili… And I am cold.’

     ’Wait for me, and I will keep you warm.’


	23. The Dreams In Which I'm Dying Are The Best I've Ever Had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SLIGHT SUICIDAL IDEATION

     He’s the only one that hasn’t moved into the Tower, despite Tony’s protestations and repeated hints about having a suite set up for him already. He still rides the subway home after missions, or after training, winding his way deeper into the heart of a New York he doesn’t remember but still finds a home in. It’s something he remembers from before the ice, how to look unassuming, like you belonged in the dust and shadows that crept from building to building like a slow, inexorable poison. As long as he stays in this apartment, no one will ask why he leaves the heat off in the winter, why he keeps it cold enough in summer that his fingertips and toes go numb, that his lips shade blue. He doesn’t want to tell them why he sleeps without a coverlet, why he hopes that each time he falls asleep it’ll be the last time, that he won’t wake up again in the morning. He just wants to stay dreaming forever, because in his dreams he’s not been left behind, struggling on alone in a world he doesn’t understand and isn’t sure he wants to. In his dreams, he’s back with the Howling Commandos, in downtime that stretches on forever, drinking and carousing in some worn out and worn down bar in he middle of nowhere. Dum Dum’s leading the boys in another round of drinking songs, and Morita’s laughing himself silly in the corner as Bucky tries to flirt with the serving girls and fails, because the bartender’s their father.

     These dreams are so much more home to him then anything else will ever be.


	24. Movie Night

     It began unassumingly, as a few, rare, important things tend to do, in quiet nonchalance and studied obliviousness. It had been dinner and a movie night with the team, the one point of time in a week that the whole group could be found in the same room of the tower, sprawled across the floor and furniture with limbs flung every which way. Steve had propped himself against one of the couch arms, Natasha’s leg slung over his shoulder as he delicately tended to her pedicure with a steady hand, and Tony had dropped down next to him, tablet in hand as he chattered a million miles an hour. Steve listened with half an ear as he finished what he was doing, waiting until he had cleaned up any mistakes before he turned his full attention to the simulations that Tony was trying to shove in his face, and the movie faded away behind them as they buried themselves in calculations for his shield. Without either of their notice, Tony began to lean more and more into Steve’s side, until he was tucked under Steve’s arm as the other man pointed out details and problems with the simulations. They were lost in their own world, barely even aware of the movie ending and rest of the team heading to bed, absentmindedly waving goodnight as they left, until Steve’s stomach begin to growl in the wee hours of the morning. He’d blinked slowly, surprised at how hungry he felt as he straightened from where he was bent over Tony’s tablet.

     'Jarvis, what time is it? Where's everyone else?'

     'They adjourned to their own rooms just after midnight, Captain. It is just past three now. Shall I start a pot of coffee for you and Sir?'

     'Thanks, Jarvis, that'd be good. And figure out where Pepper left the painkillers, this couch wasn't easy on my back. C'mon, Cap, let's feed that black hole you call a stomach.'

     Tony climbed to his feet, arching onto his toes until his spine cracked, and he groaned softly as he settled back onto flat feet.

     'Of course, Sir, third cupboard from the fridge. Shall I upload the Captain's corrections onto your server for later consideration?'

     'Yep, and then flag it for immediate attention.'

     'Done, sir.'

     Tony grinned sharply, leading the way into the kitchen and pulling out leftovers for the both of them. Just because the good Captain’s metabolism ran a bit faster then the rest didn’t mean he couldn’t appreciate a good midnight snack as well. He handed over Steve’s preferred pair of chopsticks, picking up his own pair as he popped open a few cartons and dug in.


	25. Dean/Rose

     He’s not expecting the company when she drops into the booth across from him, golden curls spilling over dainty shoulders as she leans forward to slide a file towards him. He eyes her distrustfully, fingering the handle of his knife beneath the table, and she merely smiles kindly at him.

     ‘Can I help you, sweetheart?’

     His voice is biting and rude, but he can’t quite bring himself to care. Cas was off doing Angel things, and Sam was off probably sleeping with fuckin’ Ruby. He didn’t really have it in him to be polite anymore.

     ‘That depends, Mr. Winchester. I’m hoping you can, and in return I can help you, but that’s your decision. All you have to do is help me figure out what I’m dealing with and how to kill it.’

     She was a hunter? Dean looked closer, pushing past the golden sweetness to try and see underneath. A slow blink and her eyes flared gold, and Dean jerked back in his booth, knife drawn and clenched tight in his fist.

     ‘What. Are. You.’

     ‘Someone who can help you.’


	26. Jack/Rose

     He’s not sure why he keeps seeing her out of the corner of his eye, in ever spaceport he passes through, in every market, on every planet he visits as he’s running. A flash of gold to catch his attention, a stray handful of silken sunshine to warm him, even as he begins to catch himself looking for her around every corner. Hoping to catch even just a glimpse of that Tardis-blue jacket, of the brilliance of her smile.

     He’s so busy looking for her behind him that he almost misses her walking by, and it’s only by the grace of her laughter that he realizes his mistake. He follows that tail of gold to the outer edge of the market, ghosting behind her like he thinks she doesn’t know he’s there. She does, of course, but that’s not really the point. He’s been so cold for so long after Ianto, so frigid that he couldn’t stand the thought of letting anyone else in for more then a night, but she was different. She was already part of him, after all.


	27. In Dust And Faded Light

     He can’t stay away, as much as he tries, drawn inexorably to the faded blue box in the far corner of the Room of Requirement. There are sun-streaks in the graying paint, windows dusty and white paint dingy, and he drags his fingertips along the wood, like he can hear the secrets spilling over him. The box’s doors are locked, no matter how many spells he tries, and he’s bloodied his knuckles more then once trying to get in. The frustration is getting to him, but at the same time it’s providing an outlet for other things that are bothering him, ones that he can’t talk about with anyone else. It’s not like the box can talk back after all, and no matter how hard he hits it, it never seems to fall apart any more then it already has.

     Hermione’s starting to ask questions, ones he doesn’t want to answer, and Ron’s starting to huff and turn a cold shoulder. The twins are giving him looks that are making him nervous, like they now about the box, like they know that he’s beginning to get anxious whenever he has to leave it for too long. He doesn’t want to think about what’s going to happen when summer break comes around, and so he shoves everything to the back of his mind.

     And those thoughts stay there, unnoticed, festering.

     Until on Christmas morning, there is a strange pocketwatch on the end of his bed, and none of his bunkmates know where it came from. It has strange circular markings on the front and back, and they stir something in him that is terribly frightening.

     He sets the pocket watch aside, carefully wrapping it in a scarf until he can sneak away to the Room of Requirement. He’s not sure where the instincts are coming from, but something deep in his subconscious is whispering that he needs to be with that worn down blue box first. He forces himself to be excited through Ron and Hermione’s opening of presents, pasting a smile across his face when he opens his own, suddenly not able to recall why he wanted any of these things in the first place. All he wants to do is escape, to grab his cloak, the map, and Hedwig, and vanish somewhere never to return.

     He’s not entirely sure when running became his plan, rather then standing firm, but he’s not sure he can take the responsibility anymore, that he can take the Wizarding World’s weight on his shoulders. It’s a heavy burden to bear. Maybe too heavy.


End file.
